crushed....

sorry for spelling errors and such. hard to type and cry...


i had my surgery on march 15. got all my results back today. we already knew that my left tube was blocked from an ectopic pregnancy, Dr said that my right tube was blocked and had a lot of scarred tissue. he was able to unblock it about 30% and he said that he took some of the scarred tissue out.

MAYBE we can get pregnant.... and carry full term....

we discussed all of my options. which really,was devastating to me. we can not afford to do any kind of IUI or IVF. he is leaving it all up to me, if i want to continue trying, then he will go along with it BUT with my PCOS and ONE partially blocked tube, i am not hopeful. he said that he will continue to give me Clomid and such to help me ovulate if i wanted it. but at this point i just do not know...

i asked him if i decided that i didnt want to try anymore what were my options for controlling the craziness that comes along with the PCOS. he explained it all to me, that is not what i wanted to hear. what he wanted to do was ok, i just didnt want to hear about birth control or all that other crap....

my world seems to have halted in one single moment. i walked out of the Dr office and HAD to go to the grocery store and i honestly felt like i was walking around in a daze...

i simply can not wrap my head around all of this..