oh, my aching ankle.

So, the cast is off and i am walking- scratch that - LIMPING. i still have an "air cast". but atleast i can drive now but it hurts very badly so not driving much. kenneth is doing great in school except he needs to learn to keep his hand and feet to himself. nothing really exciting happening in Wilson world, thank goodness. a slowdown is nice. i miss my daddy more and more each day. i write alot so that helps. i write mostly at night, i have nightmares and i wake up and write, its kind of wierd, but it helps. so ya know. whatever. ok enough blabber for now. here are his first day of school pics..

fighting for a good reason??

So, we are a few weeks into the school year and YIKES. Kenneth came home yesterday and told me that he had gotten into trouble... So, I am thinking that he had not been listening, or maybe talking when he wasnt supposed to.Right? I mean come on. He is ONLY in kindergarten, what trouble can he possibly get into? Well, He got in a F I G H T!!!!!!!! OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!! He has 2 Jakes in his class and one of them seems pretty rowdy, Kenneth was telling him about my broke ankle and Jake started to laugh at me, and Kenneth throws a punch. and another. and another. and so on. Teacher had to separate them. HE IS FRIGGIN 5 YEARS OLD!!!!!!!and he is fighting!!!????? I mean part of me is Happy and Proud that he defended me, but come on, fighting isnt the answer! How in the world do I discipline that!? So I did my best to explain that fighting isnt an option, that he is to walk away. Meanwhile in the back of my head I am thinking that if he walks away he will be bullied. I dont want him to be bullied. So We had a LLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOONNNNNNGGGGGGG talk and I hope that is the end of the fighting. I mean crap.. where is the darn instruction manual for 5 year olds?? Yikes imagine what will happen when he is a, GASP, TEENAGER???? Oh no bad thought: him and his daddy fighing in the front yard... Slamming doors... Coming home late... GIRLFRIENDS... Ok, I think that I will reserve my bed in the CRAZY HOUSE now!!

Is it getting better?

So, I have been repeating this to myself ALOT lately.

"To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did."

When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.

I am letting go of alot of my mixed emotions and trying to focas on what I have. My son has shown me more in the last few weeks than I would have ever thought! His innocence and honesty is amazing and it has really opened up my eyes. Thank you, Kenneth. Mommy needed that. The road is still going to be rough sometimes, but knowing that I am not traveling alone; really helps. It helps more than I ever imagined.



Concentrate on this sentence.....
'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

anything.....

i would give ANYTHING to see my daddy again, i would give anything to have to get up early get kenneth ready and go get my daddy and take him to town. i would give anything to hear that " i saw the light" ringtone on my phone. i would give anything to cook a meatloaf and hear him aggravate me about it being burnt. i would give anything if i could hear some of those ridiculous stories again. i would give anything to hear the words, "tammy, i'll smack you". i would give anything to hug him just one more time.

its hard not to think about all of the should haves, would haves, or could haves. i got to tell him that i loved him and hug him before he died, but it will never be enough....

if you love someone, please let them know...... we are never promised a tomorrow. dont take people, things or life for granted.

i am bitter

My daddy passed away.... I am quite bitter right now. I hope that all will return to normal soon and I can return to life.

who pulled the plug?

I feel like it is never gonna stop stinking raining! Now i know that we need the rain so that we will have plenty of HAY this season but come on. I feel like a drowndededed rat! Tee hee..
My house is a wreck with all this mud! blah!!!!
yeah yeah enough whining!

So Supernatural is on. OMG!I actually sit on the edge of my seat like these are people that i know. Seriously, i feel like they are my friends. and i cant stand it when something bad happens to them. i am such a dork!

oh, i had an interesting conversation with my son today, it went like this :

Kenneth : can we play on my swide (slide)?

Me: no, we can't go outside Boo, its raining

K : but we can wear a jacket

Me : Kenneth if we play in the rain we will get all wet and we might get sick.

K : yeah, and we will get muddy too

Me : lets just play in the house today.

K : mommy where is rain come from?

Me : from the sky, Boo

K : how it gets in the sky?

Me : God puts it there.

K: but how he get it in the sky? {by this time i am not wanting this game to keep going}

Me : He uses a big vacuum and sucks it up from the rivers.

he says "wow, that is SO cool." and walks away.

I figure that is the end of that and go on about my business.

Later on Alan calls me and says "What is this i hear about giving God our vacuum?!"
I about fell over I had to explain everything all over again! We both got a pretty good laugh about it. My kid is so cute! don't you agree.......

im trying.

so I am trying to do this whole blog thing. oh goodness. bare with me! i must tell you that i rarely use a SPELL CHECK so get over that first thing. I use run-on sentences and bad grammer. (my, my my, i can just see the faces of my former teachers! HA... Nice. . . .)

I want to try to keep this as updated as possible, I will even post as many pics as i can, but i am pretty busy right now.(family comes first) if you miss my ramblings and want me to blog , then throw me and EMAIL and I will give you a fix. after all I am now your new DEALER of Insessant ramblings........ enjoy and remember, I warned you.

btw, thats Kenneth in that pic. Isnt he the cutest!?!!