Six. Days.

Six days until my daddys angelversary. I am at a loss. Some days it seems like he has been gone longer, like when I try to remember his voice, and then there are days that it is so fresh that I can still hear my family singing, "What a day that will be" to my daddy in his final hour. I seem to become more at peace as that day comes closer, but I fear that it may be the calm before the storm. I really try not to dwell, seriously.. I do. But I cant get it out of my heart that MY DADDY is gone. My MIND accepts it, My HEART just doesnt. It's weird. My family has been a true blessing, I got a card today in the mail and it really made me feel loved. They are thinking about Bud and me.... Wow, I guess that I am not the only one grieving..... THEY miss him too. I havent thought about it that way. Selfish much??? They have all the childhood and the grownup memories of Bud, and all I have are 26 years of my daddy. Does that mean that they miss him more? Ummmm. . . . I cant even try to imagine their pain. Man, 26 years. Seems like a "lifetime" but I assure you that it was no where near long enough! I know people that are in their 60's and they have BOTH parents. Doesnt seem fair.....

Enough, enough, enough. before the water works turns on..

UPDATE ON FAMILY:

Kenneth had his tonsils and adenoids taken out and tubes put in his ears 3 weeks ago and is doing well. He is 5 years old and he has had 4 surgeries. POOR FELLA..

He is growing so stinkin fast, he amazes me with his understanding of everything. He learns so fast! He is so dang stubborn that I want to smack him sometimes. But I guess thats ok. He keeps me on my toes... anyway. we went for a drive the other day and went to Lamontville to FlatRock. Kenneth wanted to see the water at Papaws. He is so cool. It was bittersweet...

Here is a pic..

OH. Yes I did....

i got my first tattoo, its a baby footprint and has Kenneths initials. I put the foot print and his name there because I want to remember at all times that my son is walking in my footsteps. Following my lead.. and plus : EVERYWHERE I go, he will be with me.

BUT let me tell you all something : if you have something negative to say: DONT. you really dont want to see my rath.....

roller coaster ride.....

This morning I felt like i was in a funhouse room full of mirrors, trying to find my way out but i couldnt go anywhere. AND i was stuck, staring at myself. blah what is with me??

I went to the cemetary to talk to my daddy, that usually helps but not so much today. I just feel lost. My emotions are all over the place. Ack. I dont like being this way, anyone out there have a cure for the crazies???

Ha, on a lighter note I took some more flowers to him.

must remember not to forget!

Have you ever had one of those days where you forget everything? Yep well, today was mine. Seriously, I made a list of crap to get at the wally world and guess what!? I FORGOT MY LIST. I didnt get half the stuff that I wanted to. I was so ticked.. Anywho...

As some of you know, Kenneth had another surgery yesterday, he had his tonsils, adenoids, and tubes put in his ears. He did remarkably well. AND still is.. He is alittle icky and VERY sensitive.lol Poor guy. He cried because he dropped his pillow. Teehee. I was an awful momma, I had to laugh. He asked me to say a bad word because he dropped it. LOLOLOL. Yeah well, My mind is fried, I am gonna go lay down. maybe i will post more later. who knows... I will probaly forget!!!!!!!!!! here is a pic of my kindergarten graduate! oh did i FORGET to mention that he graduated kindergarten last week? ooopppppssss. lol